


teach me how to fall out of love

by freysan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Friends With Benefits, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Junhui is God's gift to humanity, M/M, Minghao is a bit anti-social., Mingyu is too social., One-Sided Relationship, Why Did I Write This?, Wonwoo is satan's personal gift to Minghao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-11-19 04:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freysan/pseuds/freysan
Summary: Mingyu tells him he loves him and Minghao knows it’s true. But it’s not the love he wants. And no matter how affectionate Mingyu is, Minghao knows it’s hopeless.(or that one-sided love, friends with benefits, GyuHao fic nobody asked for)





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Minghao doesn’t know he got into this situation, physically caught between the sheets with his best friend, emotionally caught in a one-sided love affair.

Every time Mingyu leans too close, eyes asking permission for a kiss, Minghao starts to wonder if maybe he should refuse. He closes the gap instead. Every time hands start tugging on his clothes in a haste to get them off, he weighs the possibility of the two of them becoming something more. The chances always turn too low. Every time they fall into bed, whoever’s bed it is (his for now), all his thoughts melt into puddle and he gets pulled back in reality. He stops overthinking and starts feeling instead.

He closes his eyes and focuses on the present, on the feeling of too warm hands currently traveling his bare body and too warm lips trailing kisses on his skin. He forces himself to relax and accept the fingers stretching him open in preparation. He basks in the attention as Mingyu holds him close and enters him slowly, carefully, the sensations overwhelming him until he has no choice but to seek solace in Mingyu’s warmth, clutching his shoulders, hiding his face in the crook of the other’s neck, wrapping his legs around him to bring him even closer. Moans and gasps spill from both their lips. He zones in to the here and now and forgets the ‘what if’s and ‘what should be’s.

 

 

Ok, he lied. It’s not that Minghao completely doesn’t know how he got into the situation. He, at the very least, knows the progression.

They met a long time ago, back in 5th grade when Minghao first transferred to Korea. Mingyu, in all his innate friendliness and generosity, immediately took him under his wings and proclaimed himself as his best friend, guardian, protector, and whatnot. And though Minghao scoffed at the idea of being protected, he didn’t want to be alone in a country he basically didn’t know anything about so he accepted the other’s boy’s extended hand and let himself be spoilt.

Years of friendship had lead them into a lot of firsts with each other. Mingyu’s first fistfight was against a bunch of thoughtless kids who insulted Minghao for being foreigner. Minghao was ok with it, he was used to it, but Mingyu was having none of their nonsense. Funny how the taller threw the first punch but it was Minghao who did the rest and put his martial arts to test. Their first short-lived runaway was the summer before junior high, when Minghao missed China too much but his parents had no time to indulge him in going back so he took the initiative to save up and run away. He didn’t count for Mingyu following to the bus stop, to the unfamiliar city of Seoul, to the airport where they realized it was a hopeless idea. Their money was obviously not enough for flight tickets and none of Minghao’s relatives even knew about his plan. They went on the mall instead and spent all the money with food and clothes. In the end, they had to call Mingyu’s parents to fetch them. Minghao’s first (and only) near-death experience was when he pushed his best friend out of the way of a speeding car and though it stopped on time before it hit, it didn’t stop Mingyu from rushing over and hugging him while angrily ranting about personal safety firsts.

It seemed only natural that they shared more intimate experiences with each other. Their first kiss came at the first year of high school, when everybody was talking about it and they were both curious but were too shy to ask for it from anybody else. They never talked about it directly but they did repeats once in a while whenever one or both felt like doing it again. It was in university when they took steps further and started exploring each other’s body. It was mostly due to the level of trust and familiarity they had with each other that they decided to learn this experience together, lose their innocence to one another. What they thought would be an awkward experiment turned to be something comfortable and satisfying, mind-blowing if they’re going to be more honest. Something that they knew shouldn’t have happened in the first place but they never regretted anyway. The rest came easily just like everything else between the two of them.

Minghao knows all these. What he doesn’t know was when he started to one-sidedly fall in love with his best friend and why he decided that keeping it to himself instead of confessing is the better way to deal with it.

But maybe that’s another lie. At the back of his mind he knows but it’s something he isn’t willing to face for now.

 

 

Minghao fights the urge to doze off, still naked and lying on his stomach as he watches Mingyu rub his hair dry with towel, straight out of shower and looking much like a manga character with his lightly defined abs and still unbuttoned jeans.

The sheets feel sticky and gross around him and he ought to clean up but his body still tingles, too tired and sated to move. He envies Mingyu’s seemingly endless energy but when one has a major subject to attend within 30 minutes, rest is not exactly an option.

“Cheolie-hyung’s throwing another party later. Let’s go?” the taller says suddenly with a grin, now rummaging around the closet for a shirt he could use. Minghao scoffs, taken out of his lethargy.

“No. I’m too lazy for that shit. Besides, I don’t know him.”

“He’s my frat mate, he knows you, and it’s an open house party.”

“Still not interested.”

“How are you gonna get yourself a boyfriend if you stay cooped up?” Mingyu insists as he pulls a red and black flannel on, one he left just a week ago. Minghao wonders if maybe 1/3 of his closet’s contents belongs to Mingyu (which is strange because Mingyu literally lives on the only other room in the apartment).

“Why do you leave clothes in my closet?” he scrunches his nose both on the thought and his best friend’s words. “Also, we just fucked and you’re talking about that? What the actual fuck, Kim Mingyu.”

“I’m just saying,” the other pauses to look at him, flashing a smile he knows is meant to charm. “Dating is fun. And you also have clothes in my closet so you can’t say anything about that.”

“Right,” he snorts. “You date around way too much and then you keep crawling back to me. Why?”

“Because you’re still the best lay for me.” Mingyu’s voice holds a smile even as he faces away from him to fix the clothes he’s wearing. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s because I’m most comfortable with you or you’re just really that good in bed. Besides, you’re not stopping me.”

Minghao freezes. Mingyu has a point. He has never resisted the other even when he complains about it at times. He knows he should but he’s too selfish, too greedy for Mingyu to care about the morals of loyalty and the sins of cheating.

“I have needs you’re willing to fulfill,” he says instead, faking nonchalance as he burrows his face on the pillow he’s using on his head. “But I’m really not looking for a relationship.”

“Even if you’re not, you should still go and have fun once in a while. I just want to see you enjoying yourself, too.”

He takes a little peek at his best friend from his pillow, resolution starting to waver. Maybe the taller is right. Maybe going out once in a while isn’t so bad-

“Besides, how are we gonna know if I’m your best lay if you don’t do it with others?! Let’s have some basis for comparison!”

“Oh, fuck off!” he snipes, temper suddenly flaring. He grabs another pillow and throws it to the other’s general direction forcefully, hitting a leg.

“Just kidding, just kidding!” Mingyu say in a teasing tone, now fully clothed. He jumps on the bed and lands beside him, ruffling his hair playfully. “I’m just joking, don’t take it seriously.”

He swats the hand away, turning to hide the disappointment he knows is starting to mar his feature.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. You know I love you, Hao.” Mingyu’s tone is placating this time, and he knows, Minghao knows they are sincere words of affection. But it’s not the kind of affection he wants.

He wants to sigh in defeat but exaggerates his huff of annoyance instead and gives him a middle finger in response. Mingyu laughs loudly and they’re back to normalcy, almost. Only for Minghao because Mingyu doesn’t know any better.

He gives a noncommittal hum as the taller tells him he’s going now, faking sleepiness he has lost minutes ago. Mingyu’s soft chuckles linger behind as the other walks out of his room, leaving nothing but cold and empty feelings.

Minghao really ought to clean up.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Out of all the fanfic ideas I have for this pair, this is the one I indulged in. idk why. :c
> 
> Also, I don't know how to tag. Really. Can somebody help me out? Should I take it easy and add tags as the chapters go or should I put everything and everybody who's going to appear now? Also the planned relationships? I'm hopeless in AO3. (._.)
> 
> Another also, please leave something for the attention-starved me. Thanks! ^^v


	2. Chapter 2

 

Minghao grumbles as his phone rings, waking him up from deep slumber. He doesn’t even open his eyes as he accepts the call.

“Yeah?” he says, sleepy and grumpy.

“Pick your husband up, he’s drunk as fuck.”

“Who is this?”

“Jeonghan.”

Oh, of course. “Why don’t you bring him home instead? You know where we live.”

“That’s your job, not mine,” there’s an eye roll in the elder’s voice. “Now hurry up, he refuses to sleep here and demands you come for him.”

And just like that, Jeonghan drops the call on him. Funny how Minghao doesn’t even make a big deal of unmentioned names. It can only be Mingyu anyway. So much for not going to Seungcheol’s party, Minghao sighs in defeat.

 

“Myungho-nie!” Seungcheol greets him with a smile too bright for two in the morning. The party has considerably died down by then and those that haven’t gone home scatter around in standing, sitting, and even lying positions. “I didn’t think you’d drop by.”

He smiles awkwardly as Seungcheol walks over and gives him a warm hug. They aren’t strangers, Mingyu has introduced them a couple of times, but Minghao doesn’t always keep track of people he meet that he doesn’t interact often. And though sometimes he’s flattered if they remember him, sometimes it’s also burdensome if he’s expected to be as friendly as them.

“I just came to get Mingyu,” he says, trying to keep his expression amiable despite feeling uneasy with the other’s touchiness. He sees but ignores Jeonghan and his judgmental stare from the side.

“Ah, of course. Wife duties,” Seungcheol teases, stepping back enough to squint at him but keeping an arm around him. Yup, he’s probably drunk, too, considering the stinky smell of alcohol in his breath. Minghao fights the urge to scrunch his nose. Seungcheol points at the general direction of the glass door that leads outside. “He’s at the patio over there. You’ll see him easily.”

“Of course.”

“Don’t hesitate to get yourself some snacks or drinks along the way,” the elder finally lets him go with a pat on the back, pushing him to the direction he should be going.

“Thanks,” he smiles shyly at the other as he walks away. Jeonghan follows him.

“You didn’t even deny the married couple references,” the elder says, falling into steps beside him.

“What’s the point? It’s not like it’s the first, anyway,” he shrugs as he avoids various people along the way. “Besides, even if I deny it, we both know you’re going to insist on it.”

“Damn right I will! Remember when I was the mistress back then?” he sighs dramatically. “Those were the days.”

“A mistress for a month,” Minghao scoffs. “You pretty much left Mingyu for Seungcheol the moment you met him.”

Jeonghan snorts in return but doesn’t say anything else. It has been almost a year anyway and he’s still with Seungcheol. He pretty much owes it to Mingyu for introducing them and Minghao for… well, unintentionally making him feel like the third wheel. Calling it quits was easy, staying friends with them was better.

Silence settles comfortably between them as they approach the table where Mingyu and a few more people sit around, laughing drunkenly at probably nothing. Mingyu is so drunk, he can only lie his head on the table. His giggles are pitched and uninhibited. Minghao stands beside his best friend and nods to the others as greetings, some familiar faces, a few unfamiliar ones, and a kid who stares long and hard at him. Mingyu’s last month fling who learned the hard way about taller’s fickle nature. Minghao tries not to fidget under the intense stare.

“Say goodbye to the giant puppy, guys. The owner is here,” Jeonghan says cheerfully, catching said person’s attention.

“Hao Hao!!!” Mingyu immediately sits straight and brightens up. He wraps his arms around his thin waist and buries his face into his sternum, earning them a few laughter and hoots. “You came for me!!!”

“Yeah, I did,” he gives an exasperated sigh at his friend’s messy state. He untangles the arms and tries to ignore the others teasing them. “Now up you go, we’re going home.”

Mingyu nods enthusiastically. He lets go and stands up obediently, swaying dangerously and maybe falling over if not for Minghao and Jeonghan assisting him. The others greet them quick goodbyes before going back to whatever conversation they have originally.

“How many bottles of beer did you drink to end up like this?” he grouches as they walk, earning him a giggle.

“Dunno,” Mingyu mumbles. “Mmbee 5’r 8? Or 10 ‘r 12?”

Minghao’s pretty sure he didn’t reach that many but he doesn’t want to argue with a drunk. He tsks at him, Jeonghan laughs openly, and Mingyu responds with another happy giggle.

They trudge through the yard, through the house where Seungcheol follows them, and out to Mingyu’s car Minghao brought over. Mingyu doesn’t bring it on parties like this (“just in case I need you to pick me up” translated as “almost always unless I end up in bed with somebody else”).

Once the tallest is settled in the backseat, almost passed out, Seungcheol pats Minghao’s back before running a hand on Jeonghan’s arm and holding his hand quickly before leaving them behind.

“Keep in touch, will you? You always ignore my messages,” Jeonghan says, slapping him painfully in the arm.

“Because you only ever drag me out to go shopping,” Minghao rubs the sore area with a pout. The elder laughs reaching out to ruffle his already messy hair.

“Because you have better fashion sense than Cheol and there’s an upcoming sale on the mall. You better come with me.”

“Fine. Let me see if I can,” he says noncommittally. He rounds the car to get to the driver’s seat and gives the elder a quick nod before he slips inside. “Good night, hyung.”

“Drive safely,” Jeonghan calls back.

As Minghao drives away, he looks at the side mirror to see Jeonghan following their car with an incomprehensible gaze. He wonders, not for the first time, how much of Mingyu’s long list of breakups and quickly dissolved dates and relationships are affected by him. Strangely enough, his guilt has diminished a long time ago and all that remains is selfishness and the tiny fear that Mingyu will someday find somebody just like Jeonghan found Seungcheol.

 

 

 

For now, Minghao is happy.

Well, not very happy but he’s ok. He’s contented. And he’ll be better if this mess of a project will just finish itself. But as it is, Seungkwan did a great job compiling all the cafés, restaurants, and cafeterias in the campus, including their menu, trivia about them, and even their staffs. That’s too much information to input in the database he just made, not to mention fixing and keying them into the campus map simulation that Jihoon structured for them. It’s not really difficult but it’s tedious. Bless his competent groupmates this time around but Minghao wishes he works on this alone so he has an excuse to half ass it.

“Stop scowling, you’re gonna grow wrinkles,” Mingyu’s voice disturbs his musing. It makes his scowl deepen and his glare to transfer from his laptop to his flat mate. He didn’t even notice when he got home, too invested in his task. Mingyu laughs at him.

“Did you bring any food?” he asks from his position on their living room floor, laptop perched on the coffee table, TV continuously playing a drama but forgotten in the background.

“No, but I bought some ingredients. I feel like having some bibimbap today. What do you say?”

“Cook whatever you want,” he shrugs. As long as Mingyu’s letting him have some food, he won’t complain whatever the other deems to make. “How’s your project?”

The grin Mingyu gives is positive. “Namjoon-hyung is a genius. Working with him and Yoongi-hyung makes everything easy.”

He shares and proceeds to tell about the latest tracking waste basket they are working on, something about automatically catching the trash you throw, all while working on their dinner. Not like Minghao will know anything about the stuffs engineering students make (nor does he know who Namjoon and Yoongi are) but Mingyu’s deeper voice is nice to listen to and he needs the distraction if he doesn’t want to go crazy over his own website. He hums at the right pauses and nods at the right time, alternately looking at Mingyu and typing more details on his own work.

Time passes between them and before he knows it, he’s halfway done and Mingyu has set the table up. They chatter and eat, complaining about professors, classmates, and the pile of requirements that keeps growing as the semester progresses.

Later, he forgoes his project in lieu of washing the dishes since Mingyu already cooked for them. Mingyu left him with a happy thanks. Minghao simply smiles, ignoring the voice inside his head that says “how domestic”.

 

He sleeps in Mingyu’s room that night, sore and tired but warm and sated with the other’s arm wrapped loosely around him.

 

 

 

“No, but you’re really VERY domestic,” Soonyoung tells him as they sit together in front of the university theater where their dance studio is, waiting for the rain to subside. He stares as the elder hard. “Ok, mildly domestic.”

Minghao shakes his head. Everybody else has already gone and it’s only him and the club president that’s left behind, waiting for Seokmin to arrive and fetch the elder. Minghao hopes he can request Seokmin to drop him off to his apartment, too.

Amidst his busy schedule as a junior computer science student, dance club is his only extracurricular activity. He has thought of quitting a lot of times but Soonyoung, who is a senior majoring in chemistry, is busier, and seeing the other give time for the club encourages Minghao to stay and do the same. He spends more time creating choreographies and occasionally joining competitions. He enjoys hanging out with the group, especially the younger members, but he enjoys Soonyoung’s company the most… except once he starts his unneeded interrogations like this.

“For real, why are you still not together?” the elder pouts at him. Minghao side-eyes him in return.

“Because we don’t want to be together?”

“Are you sure you don’t?” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow. “I’ve known you since your toddler years and your feelings aren’t exactly as hidden as you want them to be. I can see through you, my golden child.”

“Excuse you,” he looks at him with mild disgust. “What toddler years are you talking about? I literally met you just three years ago?”

“Not my point,” the elder waves him off. “You’ve been shooting hearts from your eyes, do you know that?”

“Ew, no!” he sputters in mortification.

“You do!” the elder insists. “You should confess.”

“And be rejected?” he replies immediately and he clamps his mouth shut. He regrets his slip when Soonyoung’s expression turned triumphant. An ‘I knew it’ etched on his smile.

“C’mon, Minghao, you’ll never know unless you do it.”

“Nope,” he shakes his head adamantly. “Years of friendship, hyung. If he rejects me, it will ruin all that.”

“Seokmin and I used to be the same,” Soonyoung’s expression softened. “Heck, I used to call him little bean until junior high. Then I couldn’t anymore because dude got taller than me. He only confessed when he started university.”

“Doesn’t count,” he scowls. “Seokmin was head over heels in love with you since the start.”

“Exactly!” the elder looks at him amused and earnest at the same time. “I never thought of him as anything more than a friend. But I thought, heck, I won’t want to see my little bean sad so I gave us a chance. Just a chance, Minghao. No feelings beyond friendship at the start and yet look at me now. I’m just as whipped at him, and maybe more.”

Minghao heaves a sigh of defeat. The look on the elder’s face says whatever he says will be rejected by positive outlooks and optimistic expectations. He wishes it’s that easy. He also wishes the rain will stop just so he can escape Soonyoung because he’s really not enthusiastic with this conversation even if he loves Soonyoung and he knows the elder means well.

“I know you’re scared, Hao, but I don’t think there’s anything to be scared about. Mingyu obviously cares for you. So much! And though I’m not saying he will agree the way I agreed with Seokmin, I’m sure he won’t let go of your friendship easily as well. Have a little faith in him.”

“You make it sound like it’s easy when it’s not.”

“It’s not but neither is just keeping it to yourself. Until how long are you going to stay silent about it and let him run around with others? Besides, he’s also breaking hearts left and right. Do the world a favor and keep him on the leash.”

He huffs at that. “They are none of my business.”

“You’re a selfish brat, aren’t you?”

“You should know,” he grins this time, playful-mocking smile widening to sickly sweet. “I’m your golden child after all.”

“Nope, that’s Channie now,” Soonyoung pulls him in a headlock. “You, Xu Minghao, is cancelled!”

Minghao laughs, pushing the other in an attempt to free himself. When it doesn’t work, he tries tickling instead. But Soonyoung is stronger than what he looks like and he easily tickles Minghao back. Luckily for him, Mingyu’s familiar silver sedan parks in front of them before Soonyoung manages to kill him.

“Speaking of the devil,” the elder snorts, letting Minghao go. Minghao tries to catch his breath, totally ignoring Soonyoung’s pointed look and picks his bag up instead.

“Hop in, Hao,” Mingyu says as he opens the window down. “The rain’s not stopping soon. Soonyoung-hyung, too. C’mon, I can drop you off.”

“Nah,” the elder replies. “Seokmin is on his way, he might be confused if he doesn’t find anybody here.”

“Oh, ok,” Mingyu nods before scrolling the windows close again.

Minghao turns and hugs Soonyoung goodbye for the night, thanking the other for his unsolicited advice.

“Think it through,” the elder insists, patting his shoulder before letting him go.

“Yeah, whatever,” he sighs in exasperation, stepping away and into the car. “I’ll see you on Wednesday. Say hello to Seokmin for us!”

Soonyoung gives him a two-finger salute.

 

“Did you ditch somebody again?” Minghao asks once he’s settled on the seat, seeing Mingyu’s unmistakable ‘out-to-impress’ clothes.

“Just Seoyoon, a classmate from my geo class,” the taller shrugs. “We weren’t doing anything special and the rain looks pretty bad so I just said I had to go. She was fine with it, I dropped her off the dorm.”

“You shouldn’t have. The rain isn’t even that strong.”

“But it’s not getting better either. What if it lasts the whole night? You’ll be left behind the theater alone.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” he huffs. “Seokmin could have passed by our apartment.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have me coming for you?”

“You don’t have to. This is why people misunderstand.” He closes his eyes and leans his head on the window, inevitably thinking of Soonyoung and Jeonghan and everybody else’s thinking they are or should be more than what they are. “You should stop giving me special treatment.”

“Oh, let them,” Mingyu’s voice sounds stubborn and self-assured. “You’re my best friend, of course you’re getting special treatment. Hao before hoes.”

He groans at the lameness of the statement and swears he might have hit Mingyu if he’s more awake. But as it is, tiredness has finally caught up with him and the soft pitter patter of the rain is start to make him soft and sleepy.

He doesn’t even know when he dozes off but when he wakes up, he’s already in his own bed with a note stuck on his forehead.

“Dinner’s on the table. Heat it up once you wake up.”

He lets it slip off his grasp and goes back to sleep.

 

 

 

The thing is, there’s a very valid reason why Minghao doesn’t say anything about his feelings to Mingyu. Because Mingyu is Mingyu and he never settles down with one.

Minghao sighs for the nth time and tries to drown out the moans and whimpers echoing from outside his room. He covers himself with a blanket, hoping it will mute the noise but it doesn’t. Of course, he sneers at himself for the absurdity of the idea. Years of experience and he hasn’t learned. Everything was ok when he came home from the university. He was alone when he came home and fell asleep in silence (as his routine) but he woke up amidst the noises. And now he’s wide awake and wants to eat the dinner he missed but he’s pretty sure Mingyu and whoever she is are in the living room defiling the sofa, if his assessment of the source of sound is right. Slightly positive point: thank heavens it’s leather and easy to clean. Definitely negative point: he never wants to see Mingyu in the act ever again because the last time it happened… ok, he’s not going there.

“C’mon, Gyu, quit playing around,” he mumbles to himself in frustration, his empty stomach joining his complaint. “Up your ante and get her off already.”

Finally, after what seem to be hours for Minghao, the girl gives a very audible high pitched whine as she comes. He waits for a few more minutes before deciding he’s had enough and needs his dinner, Mingyu and his libido be damned. He opens the door of his room, hoping they’re done and in Mingyu’s room already but they aren’t. He stops at the gap that separates their adjacent rooms from the living room and takes in the form of the girl slumped against Mingyu as she straddles him on the sofa. At least both of them are somehow still dressed, either engaging only in dry or clothed sex. It takes a few more seconds before she notices him and she immediately yelps in surprise, carefully but quickly extracting herself from Mingyu and pulling her lifted skirt into decent length. The other man grins at him in greeting.

“Don’t mind me,” Minghao says to her, regaining his thoughts and finding his way towards the door. “I’m going out to buy dinner.”

Mingyu’s smile dampens. “It’s nearly one in the morning. You haven’t eaten dinner earlier?”

“Nope, I fell asleep,” he says, putting on his shoes and grabbing a jacket from the rack.

He leaves quickly as his stomach gives another growl of hunger, only giving the embarrassed girl a polite smile before he’s out the door. He opts to eat at the convenience store so he can head to the bedroom once he returns home. When he arrives back, the girl’s shoes is gone.

 

He wakes up on Mingyu making breakfast for the two of them. It’s still too early for his liking but he has class in an hour and the smell of food is irresistible, regardless if he ate late last night. He finds his way to the kitchen and sits in the chair, immediately dropping his head on the table.

“Good morning,” Mingyu greets, pushing a mug of coffee in front of him.

“Morning,” he grumbles back, trying to blink his sleepiness away. He watches Mingyu scamper around, turning off stoves and plating the toast, eggs, and hotdogs.

“Sorry about last night,” Mingyu says as he moves around the small space. “Minhee-noona was a bit too impatient so we didn’t manage to reach my room. I’ll sanitize the sofa later.”

“It’s ok,” he says, focusing on the name instead. Minhee. That’s new. “She’s not the Seoyoon you were talking about last month?”

“Nope,” Mingyu sulks suddenly as he sets the last of the plates down. “Apparently, I’m not good enough for her.”

Minghao snorts to himself. Must be another case of dates cancelled too many times. And he isn’t wrong. Once settled and ready to eat, Mingyu tells him more of how Seoyoon found him too unattached and spontaneous for her type, and how he met Minhee on the newly opened café just outside the campus, and how they should go there some time because the coffee is seriously good and the cakes look delicious and he’d really like to try it with him.

Minghao only listens half-heartedly and lets his mind wander instead. He wonders if Mingyu will ever settle down given his free-spirited nature. Of course he will. Someday. But Minghao doesn’t see it happening soon and he can’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy for the others and for himself. It’s difficult to imagine Mingyu being actually in love and sticking around with one person.

 

 

 

Oh, but how wrong he is this time around. How utterly and devastatingly wrong he is when one day, Mingyu tackles him on his bed and rubs his cheek against his own, just like the giant puppy that he is. His grin is the brightest Minghao has seen for a while and his happiness is almost palpable. And Minghao is ready to indulge him and cuddle with him until Mingyu giddily says the words that breaks his heart.

 

“Hao! I think I’m in love!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of names mentioned but they are all irrelevant and should be ignored except for those I put on the tag. Idk, it's just weird for me to use pronouns and describe people without names. And since I'm lazy, I used whatever came to my mind first, thus idol names and such. But forget them. The only relevant ones I'm sure of are already listed on the tag.
> 
> And I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I mean I have an outline of this but, apparently, it's difficult to translate short phrases and summaries into actual stories. How do others do it so well? Can I just post bullet points in the next chapter and get it done with? *deep sigh* (._.)


	3. Chapter 3

 

When Mingyu came home, sprouting nonsense about being in love and meeting the most beautiful person on earth, Minghao’s first reaction was to laugh. Kim Mingyu in love? Really? When he saw the other’s fond smile, his own smile slowly disappeared and the fear that he buried for so long started creeping out of its cave and into his heart. When Mingyu confirmed that, yes, indeed, he might be in love, Minghao was convinced it was the end of his world.

Only it wasn’t.

It isn’t.

Not really.

Mingyu still comes to him, occasionally fucks him. Sure, he is gone most of the time, more than he usually is, but every once in a while, he will find himself in Minghao’s bed (or dragging Minghao into his bed), whispering apologies for not being there enough, marking his skin with kisses, searing his mind with words of I missed you, I missed this, you’re still so beautiful, so good, so good for me. And Minghao lets him. He accepts whatever Mingyu gives, which is not a lot, but still enough for his starving heart.

It’s not the end of the world. Yet.

 

 

Wen Junhui doesn’t come to Xu Minghao’s life out of nowhere. He makes himself known slowly, with a long and prolific introduction. When Mingyu is at home and not fucking him, he’s sprouting poetries for the man. His smile is so beautiful. He looks so good in red today. He’s kind and cute and thoughtful. He’s perfect. More useful details like being a senior linguistics major who works part-time in a café comes as secondary, less important information. Sometimes Minghao wants to frown. Other times he wants to cry. In the end, he just smiles and pretends to listen despite trying to filter the words out.

“Do you want to meet him, Hao?” Mingyu asks occasionally. “I want to introduce him to you.”

“Sure,” he always replies. “Once I find time. You know how busy this term is for me.”

“Ok,” Mingyu answers, an understanding smile on his lips even when there’s a shade of sadness in his eyes.

Deep inside Minghao wants to say no but he knows this is important for Mingyu so it’s inevitable he will say yes. Someday. For now, he will use full advantage of the midterms being just around the corner. Papers and exams are piling up. He still have his excuse.

 

 

 

Minghao tries to keep it to himself, refuses to tell anybody even their closest friends. It’s mostly shame and uncertainty rather than mistrust. The fear of ‘I told you so’s. He can’t answer questions as simple as ‘are you ok?’ or as complicated as ‘why are you doing this to yourself?’ so he’d rather avoid the situations where he’ll be forced to answer them.

And yet Soonyoung somehow knows something is up. He always has a way of knowing, Minghao is his golden child after all. But for every worried glance he throws, Minghao refuses to meet them. For each time he tries to approach him, Minghao gives lame excuses of doing assignments and papers he actually has but not something he does immediately.

It took a while before Minghao lets the two of them talk. He lies on the dance room’s floor then, panting hard and waiting for the rest of the group to filter out. Chan, one of the lasts to go, sits beside him and stares. Minghao looks back, surprised with the amount of affection laced with sadness shining from his eyes. No words are exchanged as the younger simply brushes a strand of hair from his forehead. Then he’s standing up, jumping even, and grinning carefree and brightly the way he always does.

“Bye, hyungs,” he says a bit too loudly before he’s walking towards the door and leaving only him and Soonyoung behind.

“Does Channie know?” Minghao asks, gaze focused on the ceiling. “I’ll kill you if he does.”

“What are you talking about?” Soonyoung asks back, not turning the sound off but lowering the volume enough. “I don’t even know what exactly is happening to you.”

“Then why is he looking at me like he knows my whole fucked up life?”

Soonyoung laughs unamused. “Maybe not your whole fucked up life – he’d be more concerned and scarred if he does and I’d be counseling him about how you’re a very bad example and how he should not to follow your path--”

“Hyung…”

“Right, sorry,” the elder says, finally lying beside Minghao and reaching for his hand to hold. “Nobody knows, not even me. But it’s pretty easy to see you’re not ok these past few days. Heck, you’re broken. What happened Minghao?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, stays silent for as long as he can until the silence becomes deafening and he can pretend he’s alone. Only then does he find the courage to say what he refuses to acknowledge these past few days.

“Mingyu is in love. I think he really is. He’s a lot happier these days, his smile is brighter, and his eyes… He’s so smitten. When he talks about him, he looks the way you do when you talk about Seokmin. Like this person is so precious, like they belong to the stars or something. And yet he still fucks me. Occasionally. When he remembers I’m there. And I don’t know… I don’t know, hyung. I feel pathetic but I don’t know what to do.”

Minghao feels hot tears continuously fall from his eyes, feels snot clog his nose, making breathing and speaking difficult. He probably looks so ugly and pitiful right now but Soonyoung doesn’t say anything to him. He doesn’t even look at him. Just like Minghao, he lays still on the floor, looks straight at the ceiling and listens, just listens, simply holding his hand tighter.

And for that Minghao is glad.

 

 

Jeonghan? He knows. It’s not surprising, hearing from Seungcheol himself who knows almost everything about Mingyu as well. This is the reason that Minghao has continuously avoided the elder’s calls, either letting it go into voicemail or rudely rejecting it. He’s hoping he will get tired and stop. Well, Jeonghan does get tired but not the way Minghao wants him to be.

One day, Minghao just comes out of the university library to see the elder waiting in one of the kiosks beside the pathway, looking bored but watchful of every student passing by. He turns back and immediately goes inside the library again, staying for another half an hour or so. But when he leaves the second time, Jeonghan is still there waiting. Although he isn’t sure if the elder is indeed looking for him, Minghao is not about to take chance. He’s not in the mood to meet with the elder knowing they will probably talk about Mingyu.

He approaches the nearest person walking the same pathway with him and sticks close, hoping his older friend won’t see him. But of course, his luck is always bad when it matters the most.

“Myungho,” Jeonghan calls, easily catching up with him. Minghao’s automatic reaction is to reach out to the person he’s trailing close to. “Who’s this?”

“Groupmate,” he says, hoping the elder won’t notice the slight tremble of his voice. “We’re about to meet up with other for our report.”

“Ok…?” Jeonghan says with skepticism, turning his attention to the stranger. “Can I talk to him? Just for a while?”

He knows his hand tightens its grip on the other person’s arm but it’s a hopeless case. He cannot avoid him now.

“We’re in a tight sked, can you do it next time?” The stranger’s deep voice says calmly. “Last minute revisions and preparations.”

“Oh,” Jeonghan nods slowly, turning his attention back to him. “Ok. I… Please call me later, Myungho.”

He nods, looking down his feet, and feels the arm slip out of his hold. Next thing he knows, he’s being dragged away by the stranger as Jeonghan stands behind and watches them go.

“You ok?” the man asks him once they have reached the parking space. “You look pretty shaken.”

“I’m fine,” he says, suddenly aware of his uncharacteristic act. “I’m sorry for dragging you into the mess back there.”

The stranger smiles, tiny and almost unnoticeable if Minghao hasn’t been looking at the lower part of his face to avoid his eyes. “Pretty sure I was the one who did the dragging away. You want a ride?”

“No, it’s ok.”

“You sure? Pretty guy might see you again and ask why I left you alone.”

“I don’t… I don’t associate with strangers.” He immediately reddens at his own words. Apparently, the other finds it funny as well if his amused huff is the right indication.

“Your choice,” he says in the end, opening his own car and slipping inside.

Minghao stands beside it as he hears the ignition start. Mr. Stranger has a point and with the way Jeonghan’s grave stare is still weighing him down, he figures a ride might not be a bad idea. He knocks on the other’s window and smiles timidly once it opens.

“Can I still take the offer?” he asks. The other shrugs and allows him to get inside the passenger seat. “Can you drop me by the Uni Theater? I have a dance club to attend to.”

“Sure,” he agrees easily.

Minghao is thankful that the other doesn’t ask any question, preferring to keep the silence instead. Later on, once he’s in the comfort of the dance hall, he belatedly feels thankful that the other didn’t turn out to be a serial killer as well. He tells Soonyoung and Chan a bit about it and let the two have a good laugh. And when the practice is over, he tells Soonyoung about Jeonghan as well, and his still-present fear of talking about his predicament.

Soonyoung doesn’t know Yoon Jeonghan personally but based on Minghao’s accounts of the other, he knows the elder is only looking out for him and he tells Minghao just as much.

“You don’t have to talk to him yet if you’re not ready but it’s not ok to avoid him like this,” Soonyoung says. “Maybe you can tell him not to rush you. That way, he’ll know you’re not dismissing him off.”

“But will he listen?”

“If he cares about you, he will. If he doesn’t…  well, then. At least you have an excuse to ignore him for real.”

He gives a tiny laugh at Soonyoung’s sudden hesitation but heeds his advice in the end.

 

 

Luckily, Jeonghan does listen. He waits until Minghao says he is ready to talk and invites the two of them out for a stroll because talking at home where Mingyu can easily come back and catch them is not an option. Minghao’s plan is to assure the other and say that he’s ok and not to worry about him and his relationship with Mingyu. Easy, really. But Jeonghan is not as predictable as Minghao assumed.

For the longest time, he thought Jeonghan is concerned about his obvious feelings for Mingyu and is worried for him now that his best friend is always talking about being in a longer-term relationship. Well yes, Minghao is not wrong. Jeonghan is indeed worried about him. But more than that, he also wants him to stop. Stop fucking around with Mingyu. Stop letting the other use him. Stop degrading himself for temporary pleasure when he knows they’re not going anywhere.

“You know what you have is unhealthy, Myungho. Why do you insist?”

“Why are you suddenly telling me this?”

“Because it’s the truth and it’s time somebody lets you know.”

“News flash, hyung. I know. I’ve always known,” Minghao gives a humorless laugh, trying to ignore the bitterness in his mouth. “Tell me why you’re saying this now.”

Jeonghan sighs in defeat, looks at Minghao imploringly, and takes his hand. “You are hurting and you will hurt more if you go on with this. And Junhui… he’s a lovely person. He won’t deserve the pain he’ll feel if he knows what Mingyu is doing with you behind his back.”

Minghao stares at the elder, feelings of coldness seeping in his core. So this isn’t about him. Apparently this is also about Wen Junhui. Lovely Wen Junhui.

He knows Jeonghan sees the change of emotion in his eyes when the elder attempts to draw nearer. He takes one step back. He doesn’t move away, doesn’t take his hand, but the small act is enough indication he’s starting to detach himself emotionally. The elder knows this and tries to redeem himself by tighten his grip.

“I love you, Myungho, but you know I can’t let you lose yourself this way. You know it’s different this time around. Mingyu loves you, too, but he’s not in love with you. I know you’ve waited for a long time for things to change, and to a certain extent, I’ve waited with you. You’ve had your chance to tell him but you didn’t and now he’s in love with somebody else. You understand, don’t you?”

“If he is that in love, then why is he still coming unto me?” he asks coldly knowing he’s only being pathetically stubborn.

“Because you let him,” the patience in Jeonghan’s voice sounds more condescending than understanding. “Myungho… Minghao, do yourself a favor and love yourself better. And maybe make somebody else happy while you do so.”

Minghao snorts. “You just want to protect this Junhui, don’t you? Is he really that special?”

Jeonghan pause and the gentle smile on his lips hurt. He wants to get angry but the way Jeonghan looks at him, when he looks like he’s ready to beg for this person, Minghao starts to entertain the idea that maybe this Junhui is really special. Maybe he is different. Jeonghan is not willing to go to certain extents for just anybody. “You’ll know when you meet him.”

He slumps his shoulders in defeat. Jeonghan has a point, maybe he ought to consider some changes. He smiles tiredly at the elder and lets himself be hugged. The walk back to the apartment is bleary and silent as both of them run out of words to say.

 

Later, when Mingyu comes home, Minghao takes full note of the fond smile and blushing cheeks that seem to be consistently part of his features these days. The obvious happiness the other exudes increases when Minghao tells him yes, ok, “maybe I can find time to meet this Junhui. I want to see the person that makes my best friend this happy.”

Almost 2 months of avoidance and he finally agrees and Mingyu’s elated expression is a sight to behold.

When he tells Soonyoung about this, he’s not exactly surprised anymore that the elder is happy with his decision as well.

“Whatever happens, Minghao, know I’ll always be there for you,” he says. “And if I’m not present physically, I’m just a call or text away.”

 

 

 

The thing is, Mingyu’s long and poetic introduction of Wen Junhui does not give him justice at all. He is godly handsome. His eyes are unnervingly sharp, and so is his jaw, but his gaze and smile are warm and welcoming. And he’s infinitely kind. He has served three rude costumers already and yet he never once lost his cool. Even when those costumer turn their backs and he has a chance to scowl at them or trash talk them with a co-worker, he never does. He simple continues his work with a serene smile.

These are the things Minghao observes as he sits alone in his table, watching Wen Junhui in his natural habitat (work environment, really, but same difference) before Mingyu introduces them formally. He comes on his own, tries to be as inconspicuous as possible even when there’s no need. Junhui doesn’t know him yet, he won’t recognize him. But he needs this. He needs to see who he is before he meets him personally. It’s just… he’s bad at impromptu meetings and if he wants to make a good impression, he has to know who he’s dealing with.

Minghao has lost himself in his own thought, he nearly yelps in surprise when another person pulls the chair in front of him loudly.

“Can I share this table with you?” the stranger... Mr. Stranger asks.

Minghao blinks a few times before he pouts. “Are there no other tables around?” He looks around and sees a few unoccupied seats, making him frown deeper. Excuse me, he’s in deep contemplation here. He needs the space for thinking.

“I need the socket and the other seats don’t have access to one,” Mr. Stranger shrugs and sits despite Minghao’s protest. Sure enough, he plugs his laptop charger and opens the device but stands to leave not long after. “Watch my things for me.”

Minghao gapes, makes an indignant sound that is half disbelieving and half protesting but he can’t really do anything when the other is already walking away and into the counter to order. His slightly good mood earlier dampens a bit, and suddenly Wen Junhui is not that likable anymore, not when he’s smiling indulgently to somebody as insolent as the Stranger.

“Thanks,” the man says once he returns to his seat, a drink in hand. Minghao snorts but doesn’t do anything else.

“You know you shouldn’t leave your things with people you don’t know,” he points out after a while making other give a small but amused smile.

“You’re not really unknown,” he says, eyes not leaving his laptop screen. “I just figured you can return the favor.”

Minghao feels his face heat up at the words despite lacking details and elaboration. There’s no need, he knows exactly what the other means. Apparently, this person has very good memory. Just like the last time, Mr. Stranger remains silent after the short exchange, his full attention is given to whatever task he has at hand. Minghao huffs, muttering “boring” in his mind and turning his attention to his phone. This is also nice, he thinks, until the other man speaks again.

“Can you, uhm, move to the left. Or maybe just sit on my left side?”

“What? Why?” Minghao asks, surprised at the strange demand.

“You’re in my central vision and you are distracting me. I'm finishing a very important paper here.”

“W-what if I don’t want to?!”

“Think of it as part of returning the favor,” Mr. Stranger smiles kindly but not really.

Minghao stares at him with a scowl but the other stares back just as firmly, still smiling. He doesn’t want to make a scene and can’t really talk back because he does owe the other so he frowns again and mutters a defeated “fine” moving slightly to the wanted direction. Not too much but at least the other accepts it with a fake-sweet “thank you”.

Minghao stays long enough to finish his own cold coffee, leaving only when he receives a text from Seungkwan about meeting up for their project. There’s a slight disappointment when Mr. Stranger doesn’t even spare him a glance as he stands up and leaves.

 

 

With all the preparation Minghao has made before meeting Wen Junhui in person, nothing really prepares him for the moment. Because if Junhui looked good in gaudy café uniform, he looks a lot better in dark blue shirt no matter how simple it is. And just like both Mingyu and Jeonghan described, he is lovely. It’s a loveliness that goes beyond skin-deep. He’s sweet and thoughtful, his smile bright but not blinding even up close. Minghao sees why it’s easy to adore him.

“I baked some brownies last night and decided to let you guys try it, too,” Junhui says to them as they settle down at the table, waiting for their orders to arrive. Dinner first movie later. He sets the small box of confections on the table and swats Mingyu’s hand when it automatically reaches for it. Minghao can’t help but smile at the exchange.

“Do you bake the desserts on the café?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“Some of them. Mostly just muffins, and brownies. The cupcakes and cakes are either from Seokjin-hyung or Seulgi-noona. Have you dropped by our place?”

“Not a lot,” he answers, faking nonchalance to hide his embarrassment. “It’s really quite far from my department so it’s very rare to find my way there.”

Junhui laughs, deep but soft. “You should. I’ll treat you if I see you. Although I apologize if I’ve seen you before and totally missed you.”

“We just met today. I’m pretty sure you won’t know me before this.”

“Right. I’m glad to finally meet you. Mingyu won’t shut up about how cute and adorable you are and I think he’s telling the truth.”

Minghao chokes on nothing and looks at his best friend who is wearing a proud expression on his face. He’s thankful when the waiter arrives with their food, mumbling a quick “same here” to Junhui and praying the topic changes quickly.

It does, thankfully, and Minghao is surprised at how Junhui easily leads the conversation away from first meetings with Mingyu to actually getting to know Minghao well. Even in the movies, he steers Minghao in the middle (“only for now,” he whispers conspiratorially to him) and talks to him more than he does to the tallest. When Minghao asks him about it later, Junhui explains that he has been with Mingyu way too much and tonight, he’s supposed to get to know Minghao better so that’s what he’s trying to do. To a certain extent, he thinks that Junhui understands talking too much about him and Mingyu, or interacting just with Mingyu alone, will make Minghao feel out of place and uncomfortable. If it’s anybody else, he might have felt unnecessarily patronized but Junhui has a way that makes his actions more sincere than patronizing, with his serene smile and kind eyes.

At the end of the night, he himself admires the other Chinese male. Mingyu’s adoring gaze and fond smile towards the other still hurts but he gets it now, why Mingyu fell for him, why Jeonghan adores him. Wen Junhui is easy to love. He is an amazing person and he is perfect for Mingyu is ways that Minghao can’t ever be.

 

 

 

A reiteration: Wen Junhui didn’t come to Xu Minghao’s life out of nowhere. He made himself known slowly, with a long and prolific introduction.

A realization: Jeon Wonwoo is the one that came to Xu Minghao’s life too much too soon. He made himself known in the most unexpected situations, blindsiding and overwhelming him with his presence. Mr. Stranger himself. Jeon fucking Wonwoo.

“You’re seriously cussing me out after sleeping in my couch the whole night?” Wonwoo gasps, looking scandalized but with an amused glitter in his eyes. Contrary to Junhui’s effect, Minghao feels like he’s being mocked.

“I didn’t ask for this,” he huffs in annoyance.

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo hums but doesn’t say anything back. He returns his attention to the television and Minghao takes it as the elder being done with the discussion.

Minghao has never felt as snubbed and annoyed at the same time as that moment. He can’t decide whether to throw a tantrum to get the other’s attention back or stand up and leave, stomping on his way out.

 

 

A recap:

After the date with Junhui, which Minghao might say ended up in a positive note, each other them go separate ways. They drop Junhui off in his dorm first, then he requests Mingyu to drive him to Soonyoung’s place. Although his best friend is surprised, he heeds Minghao’s request without further question. Minghao just doesn’t know how to deal with Mingyu for the rest of the night after getting to know Junhui. He already adores the other but he still needs more time to process and accept the situation and the first person he wants to talk to about it is Soonyoung. Thing is, it’s a Saturday and Saturdays are SoonSeok’s night out, something he has totally forgotten.

He ends up walking around outside Soonyoung and Seokmin’s shared apartment, sitting in front of their door like a homeless person, and to a certain extent lying down on the cold floor. He tries calling but all calls go into voicemail (“I forgot my phone in the room, we were having so much fun outside. I’m so sorry Minghao!” Soonyoung will wail in apology later. “So much for being ‘just a call away,’ hyung,” he will scoff back without much bite). And that’s how Mr. Stranger finds him again, kicking him rudely in the shin.

“You are aware that the guard down can see you through the CCTV, right?” the male deadpans. “He thinks you’re thief or something.”

“Am not,” he retaliates, immediately sitting up. “I’m waiting for Soonyoung-hyung to arrive. What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” the other says, leaving him in favor of opening the door directly in front of Soonyoung’s. “You can wait at my place if you want.”

“I already told you long ago, I don’t associate myself with strangers.”

“Wow, rude,” he gets a scoff from the man. “It’s your choice, though, if you want to get kicked out forcefully by the security once they get tired of watching you.”

At those words, Minghao scrambles to follow him into his place.

“Ah, that’s a good boy,” Mr. Stranger smirks, reaching out to pat his head.

He immediately bristles at the action and swats the hand away but the idea of being dragged out is more embarrassing at the moment, he bites his tongue to keep from complaining. He looks at the room and takes in the minimal design. The living room that immediately greets the eye only has a lone plush couch, a large TV, and a coffee table in between. The almost bare kitchen beyond is only separated by a counter and a small dining table.

“Like what you see?” the other asks with a smirk. Minghao huffs and shamelessly plops in the couch.

“Why are you always saving my ass? Do you have any interior motive or something?”

“I am naturally a generous and kind human being, what are you talking about?” Mr. Stranger says as he turns the TV on and drops his things on the dining table.

“I don’t even know you and yet you’re willing to let me in your house? I might be a killer for all you know.”

“I might be one, too, but I’m pretty sure none of us are,” the smile he gives is warmer than his usual as he stands in front of him and extends one hand. “Jeon Wonwoo.”

Minghao looks at the offered hand, torn between suspiciousness and gratefulness for a moment before deciding fuck it. He takes it in a quick hand shake. “Seo Myungho.”

“Alright, Seo Myungho,” Wonwoo says, stepping back and away from him, “I don’t know if you’re aware but it’s nearly one in the morning and I’m gonna go to bed. There’s the remote, watch whatever you want. I’d offer you food but I have none.  Bathroom is right here. Don’t feel too much at home yet but see yourself out when Soonyoung arrives. Door’s on automatic lock so no need to worry.”

Minghao stares, fascinated by his deeper voice and how it is the longest he has spoken yet. He watches him take his things from the table and walk towards the room only to suddenly turn back to look at him as if just remembering something. “Oh, and please don’t steal anything. All items have security strips. They will sound an alarm when you bring them out.”

“Seriously?!” Minghao’s eyes widens at the information but narrows when the other laughs.

“Nah, not really. But I’ll hunt you down if you take something anyway,” he says, still laughing a bit as he opens the door, bidding him good night before he enters.

Minghao scowls at the room Wonwoo disappears into. He looks around and rolls his eyes. The apartment is almost empty except for the essential furniture, there’s absolutely nothing worth taking for somebody like him. He watches some movies, makes sure the volume is low enough not to disturb and to hear his friends’ arrival yet he falls asleep in exhaustion instead.

 

The smell of coffee greets him in the morning. The brown back rest of a couch meets his eyes and he rolls over only to promptly fall on the floor. He groans, tangled in a blanket he doesn’t remember having last night.

“Good morning to you, too,” Mr. Stranger… no, Jeon Wonwoo… Jeon Wonwoo greets him and he squints his eyes against the bright lights of the sun to look at the other leaning against the counter. “Coffee?”

He only grunts in response but drags himself up and approaches the table where he slumps down all over again.

“Soonyoung called last night. I answered since you won’t even wake up and told him I got you here,” Wonwoo tells him as he passes a mug towards him. “He says he can’t come for you since they’re back in their hometown for the weekend but he’ll definitely call you again later today.”

“Thanks,” he croaks and takes a sip of the coffee, immediately coughing and grimacing at the raw, strong taste of caffeine. “Don’t you have any sugar?”

“I do. I just thought you’d be the bitter type.” Wonwoo shrugs, taking the jar of sugar to give him.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

He huffs, deciding not to complain since he’s really just a guest here. He dumps a sufficient amount of sugar on his mug and hums in appreciation at the improved taste of coffee. He feels better now that the caffeine is starting to wake his system and clear his brain. He’s also starting to realize it’s really not a great idea to come over without warning anybody first but Minghao’s thoughts and emotions were a bit haywire last night, he has acted by impulse, assuming things will go his way. The regret might have shown in his face when Wonwoo comments on it.

“It’s ok,” the other man says. “We all make miscalculations.”

“Miscalculations?” he parrots. “What are you, a stat major?”

“Business Administration, actually. I am Seokmin’s senior.”

“That means you’re my senior, too.” He nods to himself, a lot calmer and more comprehensive now that he’s fully awake. “You didn’t answer my question last night.”

“Which one?”

“Why you’re being too kind to me when you don’t know me that well?”

“Hmm, let me see,” Wonwoo takes his time as if to tease, walking towards the sofa and flopping down on it. He opens the TV before he answers. “Aside from being generous and kind, I also recently feel the need to have some sort of charity work. You know, give to receive?”

“Excuse me…?” Minghao gapes, turns his whole body and faces the other fully. “Are you implying I am a charity case?!”

“I’m just saying. You look like somebody who needs a lot of help in life,” Wonwoo smiles sweetly back at him (the audacity!). “You look like an abandoned pet whenever I see you.”

“That’s none of your business,” he scowls. “You could have just ignored me??”

“Like I said, recently I feel the need for--”

“Shut up and fuck you!”

“You’re seriously cussing me out after sleeping in my couch the whole night?” Wonwoo gasps, looking scandalized but with an amused glitter in his eyes. Contrary to Junhui’s effect, Minghao feels like he’s being mocked. “You need discipline, kitty cat.”

“I didn’t ask for this,” he huffs in annoyance, downing the rest of the coffee down.

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo hums but doesn’t say anything back. He returns his attention to the television and Minghao takes it as the elder being done with the discussion. He was ignored yet again in favor of flipping the channels and finding a good show to watch.

Minghao has never felt as snubbed and annoyed at the same time as that moment. He can’t decide whether to throw a tantrum to get the other’s attention back or stand up and leave the place, stomping his way out. But both are childish acts and he’s been childish toward this person a lot of times already, he can’t afford it any longer.

“I’m going,” he says instead. He combs his hand on his hair to at least make it look presentable before standing up to get his phone on the coffee table on the way out. He’ll just use the comfort room they have on the lobby.

“Aren’t you gonna say thank you?” Wonwoo asks as he reaches the door.

Minghao frowns momentarily before turning towards the other again. “Thank you!” he says, smiling sickly sweet and dripping with fakeness. Then just as quickly, he replaces his smile with a scowl.

“Good boy,” Wonwoo repeats the mocking phrase from last night. “You know you look a lot better when you’re angry than when you’re sad. You have more life in you, I like that.”

“Whatever,” Minghao scoffs but again, Wonwoo’s attention is back on the screen. He sighs in defeat, accepts he will never win, and finds his way out of the apartment.

 

‘Jeon fucking Wonwoo,’ Minghao huffs to himself as he walks away from the other’s place. Annoying as fuck in all his rudeness and sardonic nature but he has to admit, it’s been quite some time since a person has spurred him on. Maybe he can sock him next time they meet.

 

He doesn’t even remember checking his phone for Soonyoung’s or Mingyu’s messages until he’s halfway home. Whatever, he can do that later.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is a mess. A very long mess. I went overboard in this chapter which also kinda went into all sorts of direction and resulted into chaos. It's also longer than I intended but I thought considering I don't update much (because I'm lazy, not kidding), I thought it was fine to put everything in here. But again it turned out to be unorganized and all over the place. *cries in one corner of the room*
> 
> I'm also sorry for updating the relationship tag just now. I thought it was useless to tag when half of the others haven't even made an appearance yet (also just in case I change my mind with the pair-ups which I didn't in the end). English is not my first language, too, so if there's a lot of repetitive descriptions, that means I ran out of adjectives. Tense is very tricky as well. Sorry, I tried to do my best. (._.)


	4. Chapter 4

 

“How do feel? Tell me.”

“Feels good… so good, Mingyu. A-ah, fuck!”

“You look beautiful. I wish you can see yourself right now.”

Junhui’s pleased laugh is cut by his own broken moan, emphasizing his pleasure, and Minghao just wants the bed to swallow him. Junhui’s rich, velvety voice filter through the wall and it doesn’t help that his bed is adjacent the other room’s. Junhui’s pleas and moans mix with Mingyu’s praises, and the more Minghao hears, the more he curls in on himself.

This isn’t the first time he’s been in this position. He has no qualms about Mingyu having sex, he has experienced it a lot of times both as a partner and an accidental voyeur, but it feels different now. Each word Mingyu utters affects him. It hurts like tiny needles being planted on his heart. They are filled with adoration, affection, and sincerity, all of which are not directed towards him. He knows he should block the sounds out yet here he is, more sensitive and attentive despite himself, listening closely to every sweet nothings and words of praise his best friend spills out, listening until they both reach their climax.

He’s hard but just the thought of touching himself repulses him. His eyes are prickling but he refuses to cry. He curls in on himself instead and waits for silence to settle down. He doesn’t hear more but in his mind, he can hear their exchanges of ‘I love you’s. It’s the last thing he wallows about until dreamless sleep claims him.

 

 

 

“Saturdays?” Soonyoung asks.

“Yes,” Minghao replies with a sigh. “Please?”

They are currently laying on the floor of the practice room, a habit of theirs after their club activity when everybody has left and they have the whole space for themselves for another 30 minutes or so. Chan stays with them most of the time but he has a paper to make and Minghao takes the opportunity to discuss things he’d rather not their younger friend to hear.

“How did you even manage to talk Mingyu into this?”

“I don’t know,” Minghao refuses to elaborate. “I can’t remember how I was able to open the topic to him but at least I was able to convince him.”

Lie.

He remembers it well, the confusion and worry in Mingyu’s face when Minghao asked him if he could please limit sex with Junhui for only the weekend while he finds another place to stay over. He couldn’t ask them to relocate to Junhui’s because the elder lives in a dorm and Mingyu’s initial reaction was to resort into renting motel rooms. Minghao gave him an amused smile.

“That’s a stupid idea,” he chastised. “Why rent out when you have your own place?”

“Because you feel uncomfortable and I don’t want you to be,” Mingyu easily replied, like he won’t even put a fight against him.

“It’s ok,” he said, almost reaching out to pat the taller’s cheeks in appreciation. He catches himself just in time to pull his hand back. Bad habits he had to wean himself off. “It’s really ok.”

He held Mingyu’s uncertain stare with determination to be able convince the other, succeeding in the end when Mingyu gave a longsuffering sigh. “If you want so.”

He remembers it well but he doesn’t want to tell Soonyoung about it. He knows the elder will find it ridiculous that he didn’t take Mingyu’s idea. Voicing out how Mingyu still cares too much about him will also open up all his regrets of keeping his feelings to himself. He chooses not to delve further into that topic.

“Does the boyfriend know?” Soonyoung asks.

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him about it. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“Oh. You like him?”

There’s mild intrigue in Soonyoung’s voice and Minghao can’t help but look at him with raised eyebrows, wondering where he got the conclusion. But Soonyoung simply looks back at him expectantly as if to tell him he’s very easy to read. Minghao sighs. “Yeah, he’s an amazing person.”

And he means it. He adores Junhui. He loves spending time with him whenever he drops by during dinner. He loves the desserts he brings over as well as the food he occasionally cooks for them. They would chat, watch movies, or sometimes play video games together. Junhui as a person is amazing. Junhui as Mingyu’s boyfriend is also great. Minghao is the problem. Not Mingyu, not Junhui, only him.

“Hey,” Soonyoung says after a while, bringing him out of his self-deprecation. The elder’s voice is gentle, as if reading Minghao’s thoughts behind his hooded eyes. “Do you want to stay over?”

“Can I? Is it ok?” Minghao slightly brightens up. It’s his intention in the first place, to find a place to migrate to on Saturdays, and Soonyoung himself bringing it up makes him love the elder all the more.

“Sure,” Soonyoung says, glad to see his mood perk up. He sits up straight and looks down at him. “Come over this Saturday, we’ll talk to Seokmin about it.”

“Thanks,” Minghao says, following the elder’s lead.

“No problem,” the elder replies as he stands up and dusts his pants off. He reaches for both their bags and passes one to him. “Ah, Xu Minghao, what are you going to do without me?”

“I don’t know,” he admits as he accepts his bag and bends his head as Soonyoung ruffles his hair. “I really appreciate it, hyung.”

“Anything for my golden child,” the other grins back, bumping his shoulders to cheer him up on their way out.

Mingyu is waiting for them outside the building, chatting with Seokmin. It looks so much like two boyfriends waiting, it makes Minghao’s chest tighten. He only calms down when he feels Soonyoung’s reassuring hand on his shoulder before they greeted the other two.

“Hey,” Mingyu sees them first and gives them a nod.

“Hi,” Seokmin greets him as well. “You look tired, Myungho. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, just acads,” he smiles awkwardly at the other. “Jihoon-hyung is dragging my ass for our project.”

“Don’t know him but you look like you can use a rest,” Seokmin tells him. His grin is supportive and encouraging, Minghao feels his own smile toning down into a more natural one.

“Thanks.”

“We’re going,” Soonyoung interrupts. He gives Minghao a wink that assures him he will talk to Seokmin about their plan. “Bye, you guys! Take care!”

Minghao watches them leave until Mingyu catches his attention back.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he says as he follows the taller into the car. “Where’s Junhui?”

“Waiting for us at home,” Mingyu answers, turning the engine on.

“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“No… do you want me to?” Mingyu throws him a quick look as the car stars moving forward.

“Yes? No? I don’t know. I mean, won’t it be better so he won’t be surprised if you limit your sex?”

“Hao, we don’t have sex that often,” Mingyu pouts.

Minghao snorts because, really? They do. But he lets it slide anyway. “I might be staying with Soonyoung-hyung. I already asked him about it,” he says instead.

Mingyu sighs in defeat, not totally agreeing but not wanting to argue further. “As long as you’re safe and comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Minghao says.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence, strangely comfortable despite Minghao’s turbulent heart.

 

 

“Where are you going?” Junhui asks just as Minghao walks out of his room, carrying the rucksack containing his laptop, clothes, and whatever else he needs.

“Off to a friend’s home.”

“Aren’t you going to stay for dinner?”

Minghao flushes with uncertainty and guilt as Junhui looks at him with a slight pout, perhaps cooking for three. “I’m sorry. I promised to sleep over and join them for dinner.”

“…ok.”

Minghao gives him an apologetic smile as he passes him by on his way to the door. The smell of curry entices him but he refuses to stay.

“Next time, hyung,” he promises as he crouches to wear his shoes on. He was almost done and ready to go when Mingyu pops out of his own room.

“Oh, you’re going,” the taller says as he pulls his shirt down, apparently getting dressed to drive him off. “Wait for me.”

“No need,” Minghao protests, eyes widening and voice raising in panic. “I can take a cab.”

“Why take the cab if you have me?” Mingyu asks, genuine confusion lacing his voice.

Minghao frowns at the unintentional innuendo. He sees Junhui standing in the background, looking at them. It gives Minghao flashbacks of Jeonghan and all the others before being in the same position as the elder, looking lost, jealous, suddenly realizing that maybe Minghao always comes first for Mingyu, suddenly uncertain of their relationship with him. Except Junhui looks a bit more amused at their interaction instead of lost. But Minghao is not willing to take the risk.

“You cannot leave Junhui-hyung here. It’s almost dinner.”

“It’s ok. I can wait for him,” Junhui assures, turning off the stove.

“Don’t. I can go on my own. I _want_  to go on my own,” he asserts. He stares at Junhui in what he hopes is the right combination of stubborn and pleading until the elder chuckles.

“Ok, if you say so. Mingyu, stay,” he says in a teasing manner.

“But, hyung…” Mingyu starts to whine, looking beseechingly at the two of them.

“No, you’re being too protective,” Junhui tsks as he approaches the tallest. He pulls him down the couch with him and smooths his hair down, speaking in a gentle voice as if educating a child. “If Myungho wants to go alone, then you should let him go alone. He can take care of himself.”

“Yeah,” Minghao agrees, nodding to assure Mingyu he will be fine.

“But…”

“No buts. Heknows what he’s doing so let him do what he wants.”

“Fine,” Mingyu huffs, pushing his head into the elder’s hands like a puppy who enjoys being petted. “Whatever the two of you want.”

It fascinates Minghao to see his best friend turn soft under Junhui’s touch. He feels a little prick in his heart because he doesn’t think he has ever had this effect on his him. Not that he has tried patting his head that way, he hasn’t and probably won’t ever. He shakes his head and tries to ignore whatever emotion stirs within him, takes the opportunity to leave while the two are distracted with each other.

“Thanks, Junhui-hyung,” he mumbles as he opens the door and steps out before Mingyu remembers he’s there and takes his words back.

 

 

“Hyung, how do I ask Mingyu to stop being an affectionate ass?” is Minghao’s greeting to Soonyoung as the elder opens the door for him. He heads to the couch and flops down on it with a tired sigh.

“What’s up?” the elder asks as he goes back on his position on the dining table where his laptop and a few of his readings were scattered around.

“He’s being affectionate again. How do I stop him? My heart can only take so much,” he complains.

“Wow. I never thought I’d hear you say that, Myungho,” Seokmin joins in, peaking at Minghao from the mini-kitchen of the apartment. “Oh, and hello by the way.”

“Hi to you, too,” he throws him a small, suddenly embarrassed smile. He somehow forgets that Seokmin is there, hearing his woes.

“What happened?” Seokmin asks but before Minghao can explain, Soonyoung answers for him.

“Mingyu has gotten himself a long-term boyfriend and Minghao is heartbroken but trying to move on but you can’t move on when the person you love keeps making you feel loved,” the elder says in a single breath. “Bean, I thought we talked about this?”

“I actually want to hear it directly from him, hyung,” he laughs, a bit embarrassed, and smiles apologetically to Minghao. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem intrusive.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay. It’s basically as Soonyoung-hyung says, anyway. There’s no better explanation.”

“But are you fine?” Seokmin’s worried voice makes him feel better. They rarely talk but the younger has always been genuinely caring for everybody.

“Yeah. Yes, I am,” he smiles.

“Good,” Seokmin smiles back at him. “That’s good to hear.”

“Ooookay!” Soonyoung exclaims loudly, suddenly breaking their interaction. “Please don’t let me feel like the third wheel in my own apartment, kids.”

Seokmin laughs. ”Don’t worry, hyung, I’m only yours.”

“Thank you! I love you, too!” Soonyoung says obnoxiously, making kissy faces towards him which makes Seokmin giggle and Minghao fake-gag.

“Ew, hyung, control yourself. He’s all yours.”

Laughter fills the place followed by a short period of silence as they let the atmosphere settle down.

“What are you cooking?” Minghao asks after a while.

“Kimchi fried rice. I’ll be making some bulgogi later once Wonwoo-hyung arrives with the meat.”

“Wonwoo-hyung? As in Jeon Wonwoo?”

“Yeah. I invited him over since it’s also one of his rare free weekends. I hope that’s fine with you.”

Minghao blinks. He hasn’t seen the other for quite some time and they never told him he’s coming over but does he really have the right to refuse?

“It’s ok if you don’t want to,” Soonyoung assures him. “We can always kick him out.”

Yeah, that’s something Soonyoung will definitely do for him. Minghao doesn’t doubt it but the idea doesn’t seem to appealing at the moment.

“It’s fine, I guess. As long as he behaves himself.”

Seokmin chuckles at his answer. “You make is sound like he’s that bad.”

“He is. He’s insufferable,” he says with conviction.

“Yeah, he can be,” Soonyoung agreed.

“Fine. I’ll act as mediators if he bullies you,” Seokmin smiles even as he shakes his head in disbelief.

 

He doesn’t. None of them does.

The moment Minghao opens the door to let Wonwoo in, the peaceful atmosphere breaks. There’s only a short pause of surprise from the elder before his initial friendly smile becomes more playful.

“Hey guys. I didn’t know you adopted a stray cat,” he says as he enters the apartment.

Minghao’s eyes widens. To his chagrin, both Seokmin and Soonyoung laugh.

“Excuse me, I am not a cat?” he huffs to which Wonwoo chuckles, ruffling his hair as he passes him by. He bats the hand away in annoyance.

“Quit teasing Minghao,” Soonyoung says lightly as he takes the plastic Wonwoo gives him, leaving the two on the living room to join Seokmin in the kitchen.

“Minghao? I thought your name is Myungho?” Wonwoo raises his eyebrow as he sits with Minghao on the only couch in the room.

“Just,” he retorts, pointedly moving at the far end of the couch.

“Ok,” the elder shrugs. “Myung _hao_.”

“Hey!” he protests, ready to complain some more but the bags under Wonwoo’s tired eyes quiets him down and he feels a bit of concern creeping up.

“What?” Wonwoo asks, puzzled at his stare.

“You look like a zombie,” Minghao states. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep?”

“Oh. Yeah no,” Wonwoo acknowledges with a shrug.

“Why not?”

“Sex. Women. Lots of them, they’re bad for the health,” the elder scrunches his nose before he lay downs on the couch and pillows his head on Minghao lap.

He yelps but his protests fall into deaf ears.

“As if, Jeon Wonwoo,” Soonyoung snorts from his place in the kitchenette, now sitting on the counter and watching them in amused eyes. “Your virgin ass having sex?”

“My ass may be a virgin but my dick is not,” Wonwoo easily retaliates and he’s so close to Minghao’s own crotch, Minghao can’t help but squirm. Wonwoo just grumbles. “Stop moving.”

“But…” he trails off as Wonwoo closes his eyes and shifts to face away from him. He looks helplessly at the other two and has never felt more betrayed in his life. Soonyoung simply giggles from his place while Seokmin grimaces in helpless exasperation.

“Hang in there. I just have to cook this quickly,” the younger amends as he lights another stove and places a pan on it. “Also, don’t believe him. He’s just busy with his thesis and internship.”

“And he’s a frigid bastard with no life outside his academics,” Soonyoung adds with a fond snicker.

Minghao doesn’t know how to respond so he opts not to. He doesn’t even need to know about these things, for god’s sake. He looks down at the man on his lap instead and wonders if he is secretly listening to them but Wonwoo is genuinely asleep so it seems. It amazes Minghao how he’s able to do so quickly, especially with all the noises the couple in the kitchen is starting to make.

“Less soy sauce, bean, they ruin my taste bud,” he hears Soonyoung demanding with a pout on his voice, Minghao and Wonwoo forgotten in the background.

 

Despite the initial uncertainty, dinner turns out fine. Or as fine as it can go with Soonyoung and Wonwoo bickering over the silliest things while Seokmin plays mom and reminds them all to be nice. It’s so different with the relatively calm atmosphere he usually has with Mingyu and Junhui but it’s amusing nevertheless. He shares a look with Seokmin and stifles a laugh when Soonyoung huffs in annoyance and gives up.

“I just won’t win with you, would I?!”

“Nope, definitely not,” Wonwoo smirks evilly, chuckling when Soonyoung sticks his tongue out at him in annoyance.

“Oh, by the way, don’t you have a sofa bed?” Soonyoung suddenly beams at the two of them and it’s so obvious where it’s going that Minghao freezes.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Maybe you can adopt Minghao instead,” Soonyoung grins triumphantly, as if he just had the best idea in the world. Minghao wants to protest to that.

“Why would I adopt him?”

“Because our friend here,” Soonyoung pats his back a bit forcefully, “is sexiled every Saturday by his roommate and we figured our couch is less comfortable than yours. Also, what if Seokmin and I decide to have sex? That’s just jumping from the pan to the fire, right? Right!”

“Please, hyung, TMI!” Minghao grimaces while Wonwoo laughs, amused.

“Scheduled sex. Fancy.”

“It’s a compromise. I asked my roommate to limit it on Saturdays,” he grouches. “You also didn’t tell me I could pull out a mattress and sleep more comfortably when I stayed over your place.”

“I thought you’re going to wait up,” the other retaliates before turning to Soonyoung again. “Is this the polite child you’re so proud of? You’re obviously not raising him well.”

“That’s Channie, actually. My charming youngest adopted son,” Soonyoung huffs. “But I’m serious if you and Minghao will be ok with it.”

Minghao ponders. Soonyoung has a point and staying with Wonwoo doesn’t seem that bad. He did have his peace once the bedroom door closed. The only question is if he’s still welcome.

“I’m ok with it,” Wonwoo tells them without much thought. “I’m not usually home so he’ll still probably be alone most of the time.”

“It’s settled then!” Soonyoung cheers happily with Seokmin’s embarrassed laugh in the background. He tries to hide his relieved sigh but the small smile Wonwoo throws him lets him know the other caught him.

Later, Wonwoo takes it on himself to wash the dishes, much to Minghao’s surprise.

“See, pet, this is the right way of showing gratitude instead of being a brat,” the elder teases him, reminding him of the time he spent on his apartment and his grand bratty exit.

“Did you just call him pet?!” Soonyoung gasps at the same time Seokmin sighs and admonishes gently.

“Give him a break, hyung.”

Wonwoo grins at Seokmin. “Never.”

 

 

 

The thing is, Wonwoo wasn’t joking when he said he is busy and gone most of the time.

The night Soonyoung passed him to the other, Wonwoo casually gave him a duplicate set of keys for the apartment. He gave him his own set of pillows and blanket as well before leaving him alone in the living room, eyes droopy with exhaustion and sleepiness. He was relatively more relaxed and conversational in the morning, though, teasing Minghao incessantly until he left the apartment. Minghao told Soonyoung as much when the elder asked him about it later, pouting as Soonyoung laughed at his misery.

But the following weeks proved to be different. Wonwoo is always out when he comes by and Minghao is left to fetch for himself. He eats with Soonyoung and Seokmin when they’re there, orders takeout when they’re not. Sometimes, he brings something Junhui has cooked hoping to share it with the other, an act of gratitude. But he’s always alone and the apartment is always dark and cold whenever he arrives. Even when he drops by on a weekday, it’s still the same.

The rare moments Wonwoo is home, he is still busy with papers and reports. He seems to be doing so many things all the time. Seokmin says it’s because he is aiming for at least a laude so slacking off is not a choice. Everything has to be perfect. It doesn’t help that the company he interns in is big and knows his capacity enough to give him actual tasks they’d give regular employees.

It makes Minghao worried that Wonwoo is pushing himself to his limit. Soonyoung’s sad smiles when he shares these concerns, the helpless sighs and apologies of leaving him alone, they don’t placate him. They’re not supposed to because Minghao feels he’s not the one who needs it. And when Soonyoung offers to take him back, he refuses with a resigned laugh. Wonwoo’s small smile when Minghao opens the door for him, his increasing chattiness in the morning, the ever-present jabs when they have the chance to talk, somehow they make Minghao feel that he’s more than an occasional freeloader.

“He seems lonely. He could use some company,” Minghao mentions it as a joke one time in the practice room.

Soonyoung doesn’t laugh but he looks at Minghao with so much adoration, it makes Minghao squirm. The elder’s smile is bright when he finally answers.

“How do you feel about clubbing this weekend?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no other words but sorry. No, really, I'm sorry. I rewrote almost half of this chapter (literally deleted a huge chunk of it) because I kinda got fascinated with WonHao, I unconsciously made a jerk out of Mingyu. But Mingyu is not a jerk. He's an accidental bad guy but he's not a deliberately one. He just really doesn't know any better (and Minghao indulged him way too much). This update is not much but I'll try to redeem myself in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, if anybody's wondering about Minghao and Myungho, it has kinda been my head cannon that Minghao only allows people close to him to call him by his real name. The rest is just Myungho. But I don't think it applies in real life, idk what I'm thinking. (._.)


	5. Chapter 5

 

Clubbing doesn’t happen, not with Wonwoo. That was their original plan, drag the elder out so he won’t be drowned amidst all his work but when he himself refuses, when he is perpetually busy and has no time to spare, it’s difficult to force him to have fun. That’s how it always goes and today is no different.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?! I thought you’re going with us!” Minghao huffs angrily at the phone, going around the house as he gets ready to leave.

_“Uh, you can go without me?”_  Minghao rolls his eyes as he hops, trying to slip a shoe on with one hand.

“We always go without you! And you always say you’ll come with us but you always end up canceling at the last minute! And no, you can’t say you’re preparing for your thesis defense because I know you just finished it yesterday. In fact, if I remember correctly, last week, you promised---” Minghao cuts his rant when he notices both Mingyu and Junhui staring at him. “What?!”

“Nothing,” Mingyu mumbles, looking away from his deadly glare. Junhui coughs back a smile. He rolls his eyes, used to their stares whenever he nags and rages at Wonwoo over the phone. What sets his tempers flaring are the other’s chuckles on the line.

_“I’m sorry,”_  the elder drawls, not even a bit apologetic.

“Whatever,” he huffs. There’s no use arguing with the other when he always loses. ‘Just like Soonyoung-hyung,’ he grumbles mentally. “Where are you anyway?”

_“At home.”_

“At home?” he perks up. He’s not supposed to because he’s annoyed but the amount of time Wonwoo is at home before him is rare. He has honestly thought the elder will be out again, either slaving on his internship or spending time in the library for research. He nods at Mingyu and Junhui as a farewell before stepping out the door. “That’s cool. Have you eaten dinner? Want me to buy something on the way there?”

_“Wow. Why are you suddenly kind?”_

“No reason,” he huffs. “You won’t mind chicken nuggets, do you? I’m broke so I can’t buy anything fancier.”

_“Yeah, it’s ok. Are you sure?”_

“Of course I am,” he roll his eyes. “Have to go now. See you later,” he says just as the elevator he’s waiting for stops at his floor.

He drops the call as Wonwoo hums in acknowledgement and hopes the lone McDonald branch just a block away from his own apartment building is still open. He just wants to be kind every once in a while.

 

Minghao lets himself in the apartment, way too used to it by now. Wonwoo is rarely home and Minghao has grown accustomed to welcoming himself. When he arrives, Wonwoo is occupying the table with a bunch of readings scattered around him. Minghao immediately pouts, kicking his shoes off before entering the apartment properly.

“The dining table is for meals, hyung,” he says even as he lays the take-out bag on the coffee table and plops himself on the sofa.

“Hello to you, too,” Wonwoo greets him, throwing a quick nod before going back on his task.

Minghao huffs at the very short greeting and wonders if senior years will be a busy time for him as well. Junior year is bearable despite all the projects and exams but Soonyoung and Wonwoo, and even Junhui, have days when they seem to be existing dependently on coffee.

“You can go ahead and eat,” Wonwoo tells him.

“It’s ok. I can wait for you,” he refuses, opening the television to entertain himself for a while. He contemplates getting his own laptop off his bag but he’s too lazy for that at the moment. And yet the shows bore him, he finds himself on SNS instead.

He’s taken back to reality when Wonwoo walks into his vicinity and takes the food from him. Minghao follows the elder’s figure with his eyes as it walks back to the dining table before going to the kitchen to get the plates and utensils, his things now stacked neatly together on the farthest side of the table away from the food.

“You bought chicken and nuggets. I thought you’re broke?” the elder says as he puts the last plate on the table.

“It’s not much. And I’m feeling generous,” he says as they settle down on the chairs.

“Thanks. I probably would have skipped dinner if you didn’t bring some.”

Minghao pouts at that. “How often do you skip dinner?” he asks, genuinely concerned.

The elder just shrugs him off with a chuckle. “Not always. Just sometimes when I’m really busy.”

“Which is always,” he deadpans, getting his own set of food. “I also thought you said your thesis defense is over?”

“It is. My professors have a few criticisms and suggestions and I want to include it in the revision so I can consult my adviser before the sem break.”

“So you’re doing it now?” Minghao hums, earning him a nod. “Model student,” he fake mocks.

“You’ll suffer the same fate when you become a senior,” Wonwoo says in between bites.

“Nuh-uh. We can choose between internship and thesis but not the two together,” he smiles cheekily. “I’m choosing internship alone.”

He watches as Wonwoo freezes before slowly placing a chicken wing he’s holding back on the plate. “You don’t mean that?”

“I do, hyung,” he grins, enjoying the misery in the elder’s usually composed face. “You do know that Soonyoung-hyung is similar to me, right? He haven’t told you?”

“Oh, he did, that little shit,” the elder grumbles. “Rubs it on my face every chance he gets. But not you, too.”

Minghao laughs, easily imagining Soonyoung bragging to Wonwoo about his lighter academic loads. “Don’t worry, hyung, you’ll survive this.”

“Of course I will,” Wonwoo huffs. Minghao watches him as he lifts his chin up and snobbishly sniffs. “I’m amazing.”

 

 

 

The Amazing Jeon Wonwoo.

Minghao scoffs at the title but it’s a scoff that is laced with warmth.

It’s quite amazing how non-imposing Wonwoo’s presence is, how he seems so warm despite the constant poker face and deadpan expression. For somebody he has met under less ideal reasons and situations, Minghao now feels too comfortable around him. He knows he’s supposed to feel at least embarrassed, he’s practically invading Wonwoo’s life, yet the other has never made him feel that way. If anything, he feels welcomed. Occasionally, Wonwoo even makes it feel like his presence is appreciated. A remedy for loneliness, a craved companionship. Soon, weekdays spent at his own home becomes weekdays spent in the library with Wonwoo, and sometimes, although very rarely, it also becomes weekdays spent in Wonwoo’s place.

“Sometimes I still wonder why you let me here,” he mumbles one time, changing the channel on the television on his own accord as the elder lies from the opposite end of the sofa, feet on Minghao’s lap and a book in hand. The box of pizza Wonwoo ordered earlier was on the coffee table together with the softdrinks they had. “Look, I am watching TV on a loud volume while you’re reading. Aren’t you bothered?”

“Your voice is more bothersome than the TV, pet,” Wonwoo hums calmly. “Watch whatever you want, just please don’t talk too much.”

“Rude,” he huffs, making sure Wonwoo hears it.

He is hanging out with the other at home in one of the very rare occasion that the elder is free and relaxed. Minghao feels they should go out or something but he himself feels way too lazy and finds the peaceful atmosphere enough for the night.

Wonwoo laughs shortly at his jab but does not take his eyes off the page he’s reading. 1Q84. It’s a thick book and something a lot of Minghao’s friends have recommended but just looking at the size of it makes Minghao back off. Nope, he has no plan reading it soon, not even when Wonwoo’s invested expression tempts him to check how interesting the story is.

A question suddenly comes on his mind and he finds himself asking before he can think it through. “Hey hyung, have you ever been in a relationship?”

“Hm?” Wonwoo looks at him over the top of the book, suddenly interested at him. “Why are you asking?”

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “You just seem like somebody who would be difficult to get along with, romantically.”

The elder drops the book on the chest and looks at him with full attention, a mocking smile on his face. ”Is that a prelude for a confession Xu Minghao? Because let me tell you, that’s a shitty one.”

“No!” he scowls. Where did Wonwoo even get that idea? “I am asking an honest question.”

“Oh, ok,” he receives a very fake disappointed sigh. “Yeah, I had a boyfriend before.”

“Really? That’s not made-up or something?”

Wonwoo gives him an unimpressed look and a kick on his leg.

“Ow! Fine, I believe you. So what happened to him?”

“I killed him,” he answers. Minghao nearly falls for it but not this time.

“Yeah, nice try,” he scoffs instead. ”Spill!” 

Wonwoo huffs at his persistence. “It’s not worth retelling. We just met in high school, fell in love, went to uni, fell out of love, broke up.”

“That’s it?” Falling in and out of love that easily? Is that even possible?

“No. That’s the summary. I’m not giving you the full details.”

“Fine” Minghao sighs, giving up and starting to wonder why he even asked the question in the first place. “Does Soonyoung-hyung know?”

“Of course he does. We’ve been neighbors for years.”

“So the whole ‘ass may be a virgin’…”

“Is a lie,” Wonwoo raises his eyebrow at him. “Why do you even remember that?”

“I dunno,” he lies. No, he’s not admitting that it has been stuck in his mind together with other tiny information about the elder’s quirks and habits, like how sitting directly in front of him when he’s busy ticks Wonwoo off.

“Damn, you’re gullible,” Wonwoo says with an amused chuckle.

He huffs in annoyance and slap the other’s leg but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he turns back to the show he’s watching and they return into silence as if they didn’t have that weird conversation.

Minghao later falls asleep in the same position, sitting with Wonwoo’s feet over him while the elder sleeps more comfortably laying on the sofa. When he wakes up, it’s with a backache and a lot of grumbling.

“It’s all your fault, hyung!”

“No it’s not. You fell asleep first.”

“And you just let me! You even fell asleep on me.”

“It’s comfy,” the elder says with a shrug.

Minghao throws a small tantrum at the answer and Wonwoo treats him for breakfast just to make him shut up. They go to a small diner near the apartment building that serves the best pancakes. In his still lethargic state, Minghao contemplates if Wonwoo’s ex is real. Maybe he can ask Soonyoung for confirmation, he did say the other knows about it. Or maybe Seokmin?

“You’re staring at me,” Wonwoo tells him. “Keep that up and I’m gonna think you really like me.”

“I don’t,” he says, face mirroring Wonwoo’s blank, sleepy expression. But his tone and demeanor is a lot softer than he wants to be. He blames in on the early morning atmosphere and doesn’t make a fuss. All he gets from the elder as a response is a small, gentle smile.

“I know, I’m just teasing.”

 

 

The thing about being a third year and taking major subjects in bulk is that final exams and requirements are scheduled closely together. The professors might deny it all they want but belonging in the same college as them and knowing them in his three years in uni, he won’t put it past them to talk and scheme together to make students’ lives worse. Deadlines, presentations, and exams being given almost the same time. Uhg! Minghao slumps his head on the wooden table with a groan.

It’s only ten in the evening but he’s been pulling a lot of all-nighters for two weeks now and the last three days has him getting home past midnight into a dark apartment. He still wakes up on Mingyu’s breakfast but he’s mostly half-asleep and eats in silence, dragging himself around the apartment when done and mindlessly getting into the bath until the water wakes him up completely.

Shit. Now that he thinks about it, he has never interacted with his own best friend properly for a while now. Given that Mingyu himself is busy as well but Minghao is pretty sure the other tries to reach out to him more than he reciprocates. He, on the other hand, feels like he’s in constant flurry of activities, always moving and barely resting. He does rest but his downtime is spent with Wonwoo instead, something he doesn’t want to think too much about.

 He sighs in defeat. He’s going to make it up to Mingyu later. For now, he still has one last exam for tomorrow.

“Here,” Wonwoo pushes a can of coffee on his peripheral before going back to his own seat in front of him. “Be careful not to spill it or make a mess. I have no plan of getting kicked out.”

Minghao perks up at the offering, already loving the smell of caffeine once he opens it. “Thanks.”

They are on the second floor of the library, the supposed lounge area that is empty most of the time. Students can’t be faulted. It is creepy, with empty shelves lining on both sides of the room, formerly filled with old books now transferred to archive section. There are three long tables in the middle and only two is occupied at the moment, one by Wonwoo and him and the other by a lone girl on the far end of the room by the large window. And while Wonwoo has his back on the girl, Minghao is facing her. He has been trying to avert his eyes from her the whole time, least he realizes she’s not human. (She is but he’s not taking any chances.)

“Why don’t we go to the first floor?” Minghao whines. “It’s larger in space and has more people. And it’s brighter and livelier and--”

“Noisier,” Wonwoo cuts. “Besides, there’s that ‘no food and beverage’ rule, remember?”

Minghao grunts in agreement. Right, how can he forget? At least they can have some snacks here. He looks back down on his notes and wonders if he has retained anything he has been studying for tomorrow’s exam.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure you’ll do well,” Wonwoo assures.

He snorts because that’s suspicious of Wonwoo to give him nicer words. But before he can respond, Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Chan arrive, carrying books and bags and snacks. Lots of snacks.

“Heya!” Soonyoung greets them cheerfully, with Chan immediately trying to hush him.

“Hyung, don’t be too loud,” the youngest says, looking over the other sole occupant worriedly.

But Soonyoung, in his typical fashion, ignores him and drapes himself over Minghao. “I just finished my last exam for the sem, people! I’m free!”

“Then why are you here?” Minghao grouches while Wonwoo snorts in agreement with him.

“For support, you ungrateful shit,” Soonyoung hisses before pouting at Seokmin. “Help me, bean. They are bullying me again.”

Seokmin laughs awkwardly as he and Chan find their own seats. “The more the merrier? Besides, we bought some food so you guys should be kind.”

“The offering is accepted,” Wonwoo gives a nod of approval, getting a bag of potato chip for himself. Minghao watches as he nudges Chan in silent offer to open one pack that the younger is struggling with.

“Thanks, hyungnim,” Chan beams like he didn’t just meet Wonwoo during the week of group studying in the library. Like they are familiar and comfortable with each other already.

Soonyoung and Seokmin is right, the more the merrier as long as they don’t create too much distraction for each other. But the fun atmosphere halts momentarily as the other girl not so quietly closes her books and packs her things. She walks out of the room with obvious annoyance as all of them watches.

“Sorry?” Soonyoung belatedly apologizes at her leaving form, pouting momentarily before smiling again. “Well, at least we now have the space for ourselves!”

Minghao nearly face palms at the other’s over-optimism. But he loves Soonyoung enough to indulge him. They all do, so they simply laugh at his antics.

 

 

 

Mingyu is going to kill him. It’s not his fault, he’d blame Soonyoung mainly for it, but Mingyu is still going to kill him. Or maybe not. But Mingyu will definitely whine and grumble about this.

He has just declined his and Junhui’s invitation to go to the sem-ender festival because, well, he doesn’t want to third wheel. Besides, Wonwoo has offered to watch Annabelle with him. He can usually watch any horror movie alone but that particular one is a real life case and Minghao is not taking any chances in case some sort of haunting happens.

But just as he comes out of the elevator on Wonwoo’s floor, he sees the elder being dragged by Soonyoung and Seokmin out, with a hesitant Chan trailing behind.

“We’re going to the festival!” Soonyoung cheers as he sees him.

Soonyoung immediately pulls him into a hug which he hesitantly reciprocates but he takes the opportunity to drag the elder behind the others.

“Hyung, why didn’t you tell me?” he hisses.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just told Mingyu I’m not going. He’s not gonna be happy about it,” he whispers, panicky even as he throws a fake reassuring smile at Seokmin and Wonwoo who stare at them. ”He’ll think I chose you guys over him.”

Soonyoung steps back and looks at him strangely. “Just tell him I dragged you out. Say I forced you to come.”

“Will he believe me?”

“Of course he will! He loves you,” Soonyoung rolls his eyes as if he’s stating the most obvious thing in the world before he stops, realizing what he said. “I mean love but not in love… you know?”

“I know,” this time, Minghao rolls his eyes. “And I hate you for saying that.”

“Yeah, I hate me, too,” the elder sighs. “But you are your own person. You don’t need to consider or include Mingyu in everything.”

“I don’t. I already stopped doing so,” Minghao admits, surprised himself by the truth of his words.

Soonyoung smiles at him, a pleased expression on his face as he drags him towards the others. “Then that’s good, isn’t it?”

He nods as he follows the elder’s lead. “I guess it is.”

 

 

Festival this year isn’t exactly as fun as last year with all the university rock bands that participated in the concert. This time, it’s mostly solo performers who aren’t bad and idol group wanna be’s which freshmen love but bore the hell out of them. It didn’t even reach Soonyoung three hours before he leaves them behind to go explore the rides the organizers installed at the back of the field. Minghao and Wonwoo would have joined but the booths and the games are infinitely more interesting than the rides prepared this year.

“It’s settled then. It’s just me, Seokminnie, and Chan going for that miniature Ferris wheel just like the perfect family we are,” Soonyoung scoffs at them before dragging the other two away, leaving them behind.

“It’s not even miniature, hyung. It’s just smaller than the normal,” Chan’s lingering voice says.

Minghao would have agreed but right now, he’s too busy trying to hit a dart on one of the balloons to get a price, mainly because he’s a competitive shit and Wonwoo winning a mid-sized panda bear makes him want one, too. It takes him two sets of three chances before he hits a yellow balloon and he was so excited to win a stuffed toy, it felt like crashing down when he got a squeaky chicken as a price instead.

“It’s not that bad,” Wonwoo tries to pacify him. “I think it’s ok.”

“I hate it,” he pouts. “If you think it’s good, you should exchange prices with me.”

“No,” the elder says flatly. “I didn’t say it’s good. I said it’s ok. Learn the difference.”

“I hate you, too,” he grumbles, squeezing and making the toy squawk repeatedly near Wonwoo’s ears. The elder flinches and swats at him, walking hurriedly to get away. Minghao snorts in amusement because he knows his legs are longer and he’ll easily catch up but he gives the elder ample time before running to follow, only to collide to Mingyu himself.

“Whoa there,” the taller says, hands immediately clutching Minghao’s arms to prevent him from falling. “Hao?”

“Oh. Hi?” he smiles awkwardly as he composes himself. “Where’s, uhm, Junhui-hyung?”

“With Jeonghan-hyung,” Mingyu says, eyes starting to narrow as it peers down at him. “What are you doing here? I thought you said you won’t come?”

“Soonyoung-hyung dragged me,” he automatically says as he planned but seeing that the elder dancer isn’t around, Mingyu just looks at him unconvinced.

“I don’t see him?”

“He left us,” Minghao mumbles.

“Us? You and Seokmin?”

“No, he’s with me,” Wonwoo says as if out of nowhere, a fake smile on his lips. “But he’s right. Soonyoung, the shit, dragged us out and left us here.”

Mingyu’s attention immediately shifts on him. “And who are you?”

“Jeon Wonwoo.”

“No, I don’t know you.”

“Yeah, that’s why I gave you my name,” Wonwoo says calmly but Minghao hears the whispered _‘dumbass’_ spoken under his breath. Minghao throws a warning glance at the elder and gets an eye roll back. He sighs at that.

“Right, introductions,” he states, using his bigger voice to sound more imposing to the both of them. “Mingyu, this is Wonwoo-hyung. He lives in Soonyoung-hyung’s building. And hyung, this is Mingyu, my roommate.”

“What do we have here?” Junhui’s voice joins them and Minghao feels relief at the other’s arrival.

“And this is Junhui-hyung, Mingyu’s boyfriend,” he adds, throwing him a grateful smile even though Junhui probably doesn’t know why.

“Hi,” Junhui smiles, extending his hand to Wonwoo to shake his hand, something Mingyu didn’t bother with. “Nice to meet you…?”

“Wonwoo,” the elder says, accepting the handshake.

“Cool. I thought you’re not coming, Hao,” Junhui turns to him, a hint of a pout on his lips.

Minghao feels guilt blossoming but, seemingly sensing his emotions, Junhui pets his hair and lets him get away. He even gives a reassuring smile.

“Anyway, do you guys want to watch the concert up close? Some of our friends have a spot near the stage,” Junhui offers, pointing at the area filled with people as they listen and jam to the music. It’s almost amusing to see the half of the field jam-packed with students who came to watch the concert while the other half bustles with games and rides.

Minghao notices Wonwoo’s grimace at the sight of the crowd and knows he’s going to decline before he says anything.

“No thanks,” he mumbles, just as Minghao predicted, before turning to him. “You can go if you want to.”

“Hao?” Mingyu asks in an urging tone. “C’mon. We’re with Jeonghan-hyung and Seungcheol-hyung.”

Great. He mentally rolls his eyes. He didn’t want to go with them because he didn’t want to third-wheel but having another couple to join in? That’s twice worse than third-wheeling.

“No thanks as well,” he says, stepping back and closer to Wonwoo. “We have to go find Soonyoung-hyung anyway. I’ll just, uhm, see you guys later.”

He throws a quick smile at Junhui and turns to Wonwoo, grasping his arm and dragging him away, refusing to look back. It is only when he feels they are a safe distance away and hidden by enough stalls does he let go.

“I see we’re continuing the drag-me-away tradition,” Wonwoo jests.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, dusting imaginary dirt from his beige coat.

“It’s ok,” the elder says but his sharp gaze, sharper than usual, unnerves Minghao. He wants to ask him what’s wrong but it doesn’t look like Wonwoo is going to answer anyway. And what if Wonwoo asks him the question instead? What’s wrong with him, why run away? He’s not going to be able to answer that easily.

Silence passes between them and ends with Wonwoo’s deep, soft laugh. “Do you still want the panda?”

Minghao, although taken aback by the unexpected offer, beams. His mood might have dampened but he’s not going to refuse getting the stuffed toy he wants. Besides, this means he’s getting away from the questioning. He grabs it with a grin and a quick thanks before leaving the elder behind as he spots Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Chan loitering around.

Soonyoung, in his typical way, greets him with a bright smile and a tight hug, as if it has been days or years since they last met instead of merely hours. The five of them buy some food and find an area far enough from the rest of the crowd but still close enough to hear the songs being performed. They stay for a couple more minutes, snacking and throwing jabs like how they typically are, until Chan tells them he is feeling sleepy and is going home.

They drop Chan in his dorm and head back to the apartment complex, efficiently ending the night. Through it all, Wonwoo never mention meeting Mingyu and for that, Minghao is thankful.

 

Minghao wakes the next day cuddling the panda bear Wonwoo gave. He finds the toy cute and comfortable, way too soft for being just a prize from a random stall.

He finds Wonwoo in the usual routine, brewing coffee and microwaving the boxes of baked mac they bought in a convenience store on the way home last night. He lets the elder do everything and rolls on the cushion laid on the floor, indulging in lethargy.

“Here kitty, kitty. Time to eat,” Wonwoo teases and though he wants to snort and ignore, the smell or bacon is enough to lure him in.

Minghao finds himself leaving the sofa bed and fixing the pillows and blankets he always use when he stays over.

It’s a routine by now, waking late on Sundays, eating breakfast with Wonwoo, sometimes staying for late lunch or beyond. This time, he stays with a reason. He’s not really eager to go home yet, after last night. Mingyu will ask questions and complain about him going with other people. He will play the guilt card and ask unnecessary questions and Minghao is not eager for that. He stalls, tries to watch some series while Wonwoo lounges beside him, always more interested in books than in shows. He doesn’t mind, he’s used to this.

But time passes and he knows he can’t stay longer. He leaves late afternoon and comes home to a quiet house. He finds it slightly unnerving. Usually Mingyu will be there, often with Junhui, but today the apartment is empty. It shouldn’t be strange, being alone in his house is not supposed to be a big deal. But after a day of overthinking on how to approach Mingyu, finding him not there when he’s finally ready to face him is just… strange.

He shakes his head and laughs at himself. What is he thinking? Why he is even anxious just for choosing his other friends at the fest, he doesn’t know. Perhaps the weeks leading to this has been way too stressful for his mind. Maybe more sleep is needed. That’s right, probably more sleep.

He heads to his room and changes his clothes for more comfortable wear before lowering the AC’s temperature and burrowing under his blankets. Sleep strangely comes to him easily.

 

He knows he slept alone but he wakes up being spooned by somebody. For a moment, his sleep-addled mind panics until he realizes it’s just Mingyu, with his unmistakable scent and strong arms. It has been too long since they had been this close, It feels both familiar and strange.

“Gyu?” he whispers, testing water. He knows the other is awake by the slight shift in his hold. Still, it takes a moment of quietness before he gets a response.

“You didn’t tell me about him,” Mingyu voice sounds as sulky as Minghao predicted it to be but the topic he is broaching is not what he expects.

“If you mean Wonwoo-hyung, I always talk to him on the phone. I thought you know.”

“I thought it was just Soonyoung-hyung or Seokmin. You’ve always had a mean temper.”

“Why does it matter?” he asks, attempting to shift and turn to face the taller. But Mingyu holds him tighter, preventing his movement.

“Don’t,” he says. “I’m still angry, I don’t want to see your face right now.”

“You are ridiculous, Gyu,” Minghao huffs but indulges the other anyway. “Why are you so angry anyway?”

“Because you didn’t tell me about him! For years, you’ve been saying you’re not interested in dating, and then suddenly you’ve changed your mind?!”

“I am not dating anybody?” he snorts in disbelief but Mingyu continues as if he doesn’t hear.

“Don’t lie! I just… I thought I am your best friend but why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because there’s nothing to tell,” he sighs, forcing his way to face his best friend just to be able to look at him. Mingyu’s petulant face is both hilarious and cute but Minghao tries not to coo anyway. He glares instead. “Wonwoo-hyung is a good friend. I am still not into relationships and shit but if I change my mind and start dating somebody, then fine, I’ll tell you. Ok?”

“Promise?” Mingyu asks, using his puppy-eyed pout.

“Promise,” Minghao smiles briefly before turning serious again. “Now out of my bed. We’re not cheating on Junhui-hyung.”

“We’re not doing anything,” Mingyu whimpers. “I just miss cuddling you. Please let me sleep here?”

Minghao looks intently at him, weighing his decision before sighing in defeat. “Fine,” he gives in. “Just for tonight.”

Mingyu’s bright smile makes Minghao feel like he gave the right answer even though it’s definitely not. He turns his back again, accepting to be the little spoon, and closes his eyes. He forces himself not to think too much, not to feel too much, not to get used to this again because god knows this has become a rare thing and is something that shouldn’t even continue. But he has never turned him down completely. There’s always adjustments when it comes to Mingyu. Always a sacrifice. Months of staying away, thinking he has made a progress moving on but apparently, relapse only takes a few minutes. Minghao is pretty sure he’s a lost cause.

Wonwoo is probably going to scoff at him if he knows. Or maybe he’ll look at him with pity when he realizes how pathetic Minghao really is. Minghao doesn’t know which one is worse and he’d rather not know. Wonwoo is his safe haven, knowing the truth about Mingyu might change the elder’s view on him and he doesn’t want to risk it. Silence is the only way to go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I want a wonhao-centric chapter!  
> Also me: This chapter is missing something. It's missing gyuhao. Lemme just add a little bit.  
> Me in the end: Wow, the wonhao is not enough..? (>o<)  
> And I made a mess again. Yes, lovely! _*sulks*_
> 
> The thesis vs. internship is actually true in my uni. Some colleges require only one, some don't have internship and prefer thesis from the students. Me? I had to do both. But I enjoyed my internship and they allowed me to use their organization for the thesis so it was ok. That sem-ender festival is also true. We do it as well but not exactly at the end of the sem. And it's as I described. Half the area is for the concert, which is the main event, but they also put up stalls with clothes and food and games to entertain us. Then there are downgraded version of the theme park rides which is totally understandable. The event is only for a week (yes, a week-long event XD) and we can't demand the organizers to put up something that's difficult to install and put down. I suddenly miss going. (._.)
> 
> By the way, SVT's comeback was amazing!! I loved their songs and I might be a tiny bit obsessed with "Without You". Also Minghao and his golden hair!! I am smitten!!! I hope he's ok now with his back. I want him to rest longer but I guess the group also needs him. I just wish he won't overwork himself. (>o<)
> 
> Anyway, for everybody who still reads this fic, thank you so much for your patience and benevolence. I don't know why people still stick with me but I appreciate you guys. Seriously, thanks a lot!! (^o^)/~

**Author's Note:**

> Also, please leave something for the attention-starved me. Thanks! ^^v


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